I (Don't) Want My MTV

It is Day 12, and still no cable. Since The Blizzard of 2010, we've had no cable reception. 457 channels and nothin's on. Even the DVR and OnDemand - nada. When we turn on the television, which works fine - both of them, actually - the screen comes on with something that reads "One moment please...this channel will be available shortly". I'm asking right now, How long is "shortly"?

The first couple of cable-less days, I paced around the house like a caged tiger sporting something resembling hives all over my chest, all the while clenching my jaw so tightly I think my entire bite is off now. Not that I missed watching TV, what I missed was the zombie-like zone my kids would go into when they watched; the down time. And how was I going to get away with doing that stuff you do while the kids are distracted and enthralled by "Sunny With a Chance"? The kids got restless- it was school vacation after all (timing is everything) but on the bright side, they had plenty of new booty to play with from Santa, right? Yeah, that novelty lasted about 18 hours - minus the 10 they slept. Here's an idea guys! Go out and play in the snow! That lasted a little bit longer - a couple of days...but when they realized I was keeping them furnished with shovels mainly to exhaust them, the gig was up. ("Mom, why are we clearing this person's driveway? We don't know them, and besides, we don't even live in Springfield!").
Speaking of school vacation week, my son had a hockey tournament. Normally, one game takes a pretty good chunk out of the day, but since goalies were in high demand that week he got a ton of extra ice time. My two girls, never big fans of the game, the rink, the cold, were suddenly NOT complaining about spending a couple of hours at their brother's hockey game. It finally dawned on me. Each time we arrived at the rink, they would excitedly race up to the warm, enclosed balcony room on the 3rd floor - the one with the 2 huge flat-screens at either end? - they couldn't wait to go hang out and get their TV fix. I think there was even a "King of the Remote" fight just for prosperity.

A side story- I've already gone through a similar situation. My parents were pretty strict with the TV- as in, we could NEVER watch it. I remember having arguments with them asking, "Then, WHY do we even have a TV if we can't watch it?" and, "I'm the ONLY one in the WHOLE SCHOOL who doesn't get to watch 'Mork and Mindy', and because of YOU GUYS, I won't have any CLUE when everyone starts talking about it at lunch tomorrow!!!" (I got absolutely no sympathy with that one.)
Then in 1984, to my absolute horror, the TV broke. "THE". As in singular. It was the only one we had. So, while "EVERYONE ELSE" was getting cable - and pirating all the movie channels with a common pin* -  my brother, sister and I were being exiled further into "Massive Geek Weirdo World"  because my parents decided that we would not get a new TV. We didn't NEED one, they said.
More arguments ensued:
"Remember how we moved here when I started 1st Grade, and this house was SO OLD that it didn't even have telephone service?!? Do you know how much of a LOSER I felt like when my teacher had all of the kids recite their phone #'s out loud and I had to say, 'WE DON'T HAVE A PHONE!?!'....Now I'm a sophomore in high school, and I have to tell everyone, 'WE DON'T HAVE A TV?!?'....You guys are RUINING MY LIFE!"
18 months. A year and a half. No boob tube. I am certain to this day that as we moved into 1986, and all teams BOSTON were kicking some serious ass across the boards, that this was the singular reason why my parents caved and got a new TV - with cable, even! That, and the fact that during those insane Celtics days with Bird, McHale and The Chief, listening to the game on the radio during supper was no longer such a good idea. Johnny Most was getting so worked up, I remember my little sister asking, "What does it mean to get 'raped in the lane bydawkins'? What IS a 'bydawkins'?"  Ahhh, Johnny. RIP - You were beautiful!

Back to the present. I have called the cable company. I won't mention any names, but it rhymes with "KomKast". A dozen phone calls later and countless episodes of iCarly and other crappy canned-laughter shows on the Disney Channel, The Winter Classic, The Rose Parade, Patriots, Celtics, Bruins games - all gone by - and nothing has been resolved. And I hate the phone. I can't, or won't call you back in 40 - 60 minutes to tell you that the cable is still out, especially since I've just wasted the last 45 with you! Calling them is becoming less of a priority as each day passes though, because guess what's happening? We're all getting used it. More like, getting used to not having it.

The longer we don't have TV, the less and less we miss it. The TV is not the first thing turned on anymore when we come home. The kids are playing together. They are reading books. I'm seeing long-forgotten toys back in the mix. They are playing games; we - are playing games. The Baldwin is no longer dusty and neglected. We're jamming! It's been okay and we are actually surviving. Just like I survived in '85. I won't go 18 months probably, but I feel like calling the cable company and telling them just to shut it down. That, and the land-line.
Now, does anyone feel like having some company tonight while you watch the Bruin's game? Anyone? Please?.....

*Circa 1985: Thx, DD! xo