Friday, December 31, 2010

Rear-View Mirror

2010: It was a year of "insidious suck". 
I'm not a 'glass-is-half-empty' type but this year was HARD! Hard on all of us locally, nationally and globally. It was full of calamitous disasters, embarrassing social gaffes, and some truly WTF moments. Some events  ambushed us emotionally, while others were so off the hook we could only respond with the overused "Seriously? and "Are you kidding me?".
I'm sticking to a very brief and quick list, since there are plenty of these Best/Worst 2010 Wrap-ups out there, I'm sure. Also, I'm sticking to a National and Global arena.

Here's a few I'd like to rearview simply because the scope of tragedy was so immense and still ongoing: 
1. The Haitian Earthquakes; The Volcanic Eruption in Iceland; The BP Oil Spill.

Rearview the 3 most over-reported stories:
1. Terry Jones. You remember, that clown in Gainseville FL, who started out with 50 parishioners. He ended up gaining an international audience, endangering our troops in the middle east, and causing riots all over the world because he threatened to burn the Koran. *Note to media: only 50 people would have known if you did not stoke this fire...
2. Justin Bieber.*
3. LeBron James' "Decision"*
*'Nuff Said.

Speaking of Sports:
1. The World Cup. The "vuvuzelas".  And of the worst "Drama in Ghana"...The French Team: (pardonnez-moi, mais vous beaucoup SUCKED!)
2. Brett Favre: Is he or Isn't he? Does he or Doesn't he? Would he or Woody?
3. And, a tough one, because it was an honest mistake: Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga beats Cleveland's Jason Donald to first base, effectively casting out the 27th batter. A perfect game. To everyone that is, except Umpire Jim Joyce, who immediately and tearfully admitted that he had blown the call.  Pure heartbreak for all.

3 Quotes. 3 Geniuses.
1. "This is a big f_____ deal!" - Joe (The Built-In Gaffe-Prone VP) Biden, to Pres. Obama, re: passing of the Health Care Reform Bill.
2. "I'd like my life back." - Tony (Then CEO of BP) Hayward.  Really, Guy?
3."If you touch my junk, I'll have you arrested." - Citizen John Tyner at San Diego Airport, speaking to a T-'N-A, I mean- TSA agent relaying his thoughts on the physical pat-down element of security.

I think I'm done.These few things were so bad this year, they couldn't possibly repeat. 2011 hopefully, will be a cake-walk. Hang in...we're almost there.

PS Top 5 Hangover Cures:
*waterwaterwater
*bite the dog that bit you
*gatorade
*greasy food
*Tylenol. And don't say that acetaminophen causes liver damage. It can't be any worse than the liver damage done while bringing in 2011!
Happy New Year. Be Safe.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

TIME For the Big Clean Up?

Here we go... Just days away from Jan. 1 and boy, do I have work to do! Doesn't everybody? I mean, we all have to get ready!!! The list of 'things to do' is endless; I've got a tree to take down, "space junk" (aka "craplets" or, clutter) to get rid of, receipts to file, laundry, food shopping, clothes to donate and- the BEST thing of all - a new calendar to hang up!  I am swamped with an overwhelming load of shit to do and I am dead-lining December 31st! See, I get uneasy this time of year so I figure that if I "get all ready" for the New Year that I will be FINE. I just have to get everything done and it will be a smooth transition for me, because I'll be "ready" right???

Wait a second... What exactly is it that I'm getting ready for, anyways? Why on earth do I put this onus on myself every year at this time to get everything done? Laundry is never done, nor is food shopping, filing,and cleaning so let's just scratch those off the 'to do' list... Am I getting ready for some huge party that begins Jan.1 and ends after Christmas? Am I getting ready for... School? A Meeting? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? The World to END??? No. I am not... Hurry, hurry! Get ready!...Nah, I'm not liking that self-induced pressure and anxiety that comes with "getting ready!". 

It's time for an attitude adjustment for this kid right here; time to take a new approach. How about if I just "be ready"? Not GET ready. BE ready, as in "just be." Mindful; in the moment. Spend less time trying to make sense of the past; less time preparing for the future and just LIVE. In the NOW. There is so much waste in this world and in this life, which is sad and truly unfortunate, but the most tragic thing to waste is TIME. We don't ever get it back. We shouldn't get all hung up spending precious time getting ready for something which we have no idea whether or not it's actually going to happen.

Nope. Not me. No more 'getting ready' but, here are some suggestions for things that I think are important to 'BE ready' for:

1. BE READY to NOT be ready! Wing it!

2. BE READY to LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE...at all times.

3. BE READY to hop on a plane when your friend yells something about KEY WEST! and  WINTERVENTION!

4. BE READY for all things "spur". Of the moment. (Always better than the best laid plans!)

5. BE READY to DANCE! Especially if a Flashmob breaks out right in front of you.

And so, I think I may have come up with my first New Year's Resolution for 2011-
I am going to start living with a little more HEART, and a little less BRAIN. Ain't that some shit, Cee-Lo!!!

Right now however, I'm going to pack a "stand-by" bag containing the following: a toothbrush, lipstick, some bitchin' shades, and a bikini. So when that call comes in for a WINTERVENTION, I WILL BE READY.
Now where the hell did I put my new calendar....?!?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Zen Den

Which way is up?
I have no idea, since my blizzard has been tossing me every which way for months now; even years. Yesterday's "Blizzard of 2010" was the perfect visual metaphor for the emotional turmoil that I have been in. Let's cut right to the chase: I am newly divorced, as of Dec. 16th,  the week before Christmas. Timing is everything and as far as I'm concerned, I can see both sides of it; (like I tend to view everything...hence the title of my blog.) Sounding a little bit like Charles Dickens, "It was the worst of times, it was the best of times..." (or is it the other way around? I forget.)  Tough to get divorced right at the Christmas holiday, but in terms of the "New Year" holiday...it's perfect. New Year, New Me, New Life...a bonafide and genuine opportunity for a "do-over" in 2011. And I plan to make the most of it. I will do that such-and-such thing I've always wanted to (like BLOG, for example!) Or more yoga. Spend more time on my kids, my house, me. The "New Year"; it motivates me. I've always made some lame, empty resolutions which I never kept but this coming year, my resolutions will be more like revolutions!

So here I am, starting this blog. I want you to know right off the bat, that this will not be a continuous soliloquy of ex-husband bashing, visitation violations, and/or updates on my latest pity-party. A lot of my inspiration to write happens right in here (see above).  This is my beloved Zen Den. Actually, it's more like a Zen Igloo right now, which still works for me and it is where I begin and end every single day. With a place like this to inspire, I can only write all things positive, funny, poignant, and thought-provoking...I hope! I do however reserve the right to rant occasionally- like we all should. Please stay tuned....
Signing on, and off for the first of many times- from The Zen Den.